Moving to university is one of the biggest moments in a person’s life. This experience is a chance for a young adult to explore their interests and develop a sense of independence. If your son or daughter is moving to attend AIHM or any other school of higher education, they’re probably a ball of excitement and nervous energy. At the same time, so are you!
Even if your student is living at home while attending university, their world has suddenly changed. They’ve reached an exciting new life-phase filled with opportunities and challenges. You want to help them, but you also want to give them space to build their own capabilities. You and your child have entered a new, more mature stage of your relationship. While they’re learning to navigate this new world, you are as well.
Some of the questions you have now will be specific to you and your son or daughter, but many questions are shared by numerous other parents. While most of my time as an educator is spent guiding students on their educational and career journeys, over my years in higher education I’ve also accumulated some useful lessons for parents. I possess a front-row seat to the transition students make each year, and I also have a chance to meet and speak with the parents of many young adults going through this process. Below, you’ll find answers to some of the questions most commonly asked by parents of new university students.
How do I know the school my child attends is a good fit for them?
Once you send your son or daughter off to a new place, worrying about them and whether they fit in is a completely natural response. You may have countless questions about whether AIHM is a good fit for your young adult. Are they being academically challenged enough? Are the people there nice to them?
While these questions may flood your brain, remember AIHM is dedicated to providing your student an environment that will help them flourish. We work hard to solve any potential issues and provide opportunities for your young adult to succeed.
You probably conducted a great deal of research while deciding where to send your son or daughter for their studies, and this research led you to select AIHM. It's important to remember why your young adult — and possibly you — chose the school in the first place. AIHM will deliver what it has communicated. Remember: we’re dedicated to your student’s success and supporting them in achieving their ambitions.
How can I still be a part of my child's life from afar?
Transitioning from seeing your child every day to only chatting on the phone or Facetime may be a shock, and that can be hard to face. While you want to avoid being an absentee parent, it is totally natural to also want to let your young person know you miss them and hope they are doing well in their new environment.
A common question you may find yourself asking might be: “How often should I contact my child?” Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but the best way to find a healthy balance is openly communicating about both your needs and the needs of your young adult. You may feel you want to have a call with your son or daughter every night, and maybe that’s what they need too! Or maybe they are embracing their independence more than you expected, so you may need to make the first move.
Regularly calling your child and texting them in order to stay updated about each other’s lives is an important and wonderful way to keep your relationship healthy and happy. Every student-parent relationship is different; figuring out how often to contact each other during the first few weeks at AIHM is a trial-and-error process. Once you find a happy medium of staying in contact, you will both look forward to those chats and texts.
What if my child is keeping important things from me?
A worrisome thought from parents, whether located near or far, is whether their young person is keeping secrets. It’s one thing to be out of the loop about the drama in your child's friend group. But you may find yourself tossing and turning at night mulling over questions like: “How do I know my child is staying safe?” “What if they’re not going to class?” These are all questions that once again we do not have a single, definite answer for. Every student is different; some may share almost everything with their parents while others may only feel inclined to talk with you about the essentials. As long as you establish the fact that you are open and willing to listen and be there for your child, they will be more prone to come to you with any potential issues they may have.
Mistakes can be learning experiences, and it’s natural for a young person to face challenges and hiccups as they gain their footing in the world. Let your young person know you understand are always there for them.
What if my child is struggling academically?
Higher education is a whole new level of teaching and learning that some people may be challenged by. Even if their grades are not as high as they were in high school, or if your student seems to be spending much more time doing homework than anything else, this does not discount their intelligence or mean that they are not working hard enough. If your son or daughter lets you know they are struggling academically or finding it hard to stay on top of their workload, it is best to approach them with an attitude of understanding and grace as they are being vulnerable and asking for help.
At AIHM we offer tutoring services and our instructors have an open door policy. All AIHM students have access to support, especially with their academic needs. While it is, in the end, the student’s responsibility to seek out these services and opportunities, you can also remind them that this support is available. Help them remember that they are not alone and that other students are facing the same challenges.
All in all, your young adult is taking a step into a new direction filled with both trials and transitions. Being a parent is a complex responsibility, especially when you are trying to relearn how to parent from a distance. You will want to be supportive, loving and someone your child can turn to when in need. Giving them space to branch out while also clearly letting them know you are on their team and always available to solve issues together will help them grow in new and formative ways.
Remember: your young adult is growing into their own person and being shaped by the wonderful things around them. I get to glimpse this process in action, but as a parent you are the one who is really able to see the depth of these changes and truly take pride in your young person’s accomplishments. Cherish this time, and be there for your student as they learn to be the person they’re becoming.
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