Selling. The very word can make even confident professionals hesitate. Whether you work in hospitality, education, tech, or wellness, you’ve likely felt that quiet tension—the pressure to say the right thing, the fear of sounding pushy, the discomfort of offering something that might be declined.

This blog is about that difference, and why it matters more than any technique.

Why Selling Feels Awkward (And What Makes It Effortless)

Most of us know what it feels like when someone is trying to sell us something. There’s a shift in tone. A subtle push. A quiet sense of being moved toward something we’re not entirely sure we want.

Even if it’s polite—even if it’s well-intentioned—something in us pulls back.

But when someone offers us something that feels helpful, aligned, and clear—we don’t feel sold to. We feel taken care of. That’s the difference and it turns out, the same is true when we’re the ones doing the selling.

Why Selling Feels So Hard for So Many

I’ve worked with people in hospitality, tech, education, wellness—different industries, different roles. But when it comes to selling, the struggle is oddly similar:

• “I’m not a salesy person.”
• “It feels pushy.”
• “I never know what to say.”

Even people who are warm, intelligent, and excellent at their jobs freeze up when they think about selling. They either fall back on techniques that feel mechanical, or they avoid the topic altogether.

The issue usually isn’t ability.

It’s misunderstanding.

They think selling means convincing.

But the best sales conversations don’t feel like persuasion at all. They feel like insight. Like someone seeing what might actually help—and offering it, with no pressure.

A Simple Moment

I once watched a young waiter pause at a table where a guest had just finished their meal.

“Did you enjoy the main course?” he asked.

The guest nodded. “It was great. I just wish I had room for dessert.”

The waiter smiled and replied, “The portions are smaller than you think. If you’re curious, I’d recommend the mango sorbet. It’s light and refreshing.”

The guest laughed. “You got me.”

There was no push. Just attentiveness. A moment of presence. A suggestion that fit.

That’s upselling. Not because it increased the bill. But because it deepened the experience.

Selling as Service

Most people think of selling as a separate activity—something extra we do to people.

But the way I see it, selling is just another form of helping.

If you’re in a service role, you’re already listening. You’re already reading people, responding, adjusting. Sales isn’t a different skillset. It’s an extension of what you already do when your mind is clear and you’re paying attention. When you're grounded in that space, selling doesn't feel like effort. It feels like noticing and then offering.

Where Most Sales Training Misses the Point

Most sales advice focuses on behavior:

• What to say
• How to overcome objections
• How to close the deal

But very little focuses on where you’re coming from—your state of mind.

That’s the missing piece.

When you’re caught up in your head—trying to say the right thing, worried about the outcome—it affects the interaction. People feel the tension, even if they can’t name it.

But when your mind is quiet, you’re present, you listen differently, you speak from a place that isn’t trying to control, and your suggestions come across as helpful—not strategic.

This is what changes everything.

The Shift That Matters

I teach a course called Upselling & Sales Strategies for the Asian Institute of Hospitality Management. But it’s not really about technique, it’s about seeing. Seeing that when you approach people with clarity and care, you don’t have to force anything. Upselling becomes a natural byproduct of listening. Selling becomes part of service and work starts to feel better—because you’re no longer managing a performance. You’re just being yourself and helping people in the process.

Reflection

If you’ve ever felt awkward selling, there isn’t anything wrong with you. You’ve just been taught a version of sales that doesn’t fit how people actually connect.

What if you didn’t need to push?

What if you didn’t need to sound impressive?

What if all you needed was presence—and the willingness to offer something when it makes sense?

That’s not just a better way to sell.

It’s a better way to show up.

—

Nikon Gormley teaches leadership, communication, and sales at the Asian Institute of Hospitality Management and Sasin School of Management. He is the founder of Inner Spark Group and a coach to entrepreneurs, teams, and service professionals across Asia.

Bringing the Shift to Life: Explore Our Executive Course

If selling has ever felt awkward, it’s not a personal failing—it’s often the result of outdated ideas about what sales should look like. When we shift from pushing to genuinely helping, sales become a natural extension of service.

That’s the heart of what we explore in our executive course, Upselling & Sales Strategies at the Asian Institute of Hospitality Management.

Because understanding why selling feels awkward—and what makes it effortless isn’t just theory. It’s a skill you can develop, refine, and apply with confidence.

Explore more about our Executive Education Course at AIHM here